December 02, 2008

Yes, they are real.

While I might make our new home sound picturesque in my blog, there are a few drawbacks that I have failed to mention such as the loud magnolia wallpaper in the kitchen, sharing a hot water heater with the neighbor upstairs, gold faux-painted molding with emerald green wallpaper in the bathroom, and oh, let's see . . . a NAKED mermaid statue in the front yard!! Norfolk has a mermaids all over town as part of their public art. You will find them in parking lots, on top of buildings, on the harbor, etc. Apparently, the owner of our house thought it would be really cool to have one in his front yard. When we met him, we discovered quickly that he took great pride in "his mermaid." He even went so far as to "enhance" her with the aid of Playboy centerfold models so that she was more voluptuous than when he originally purchased her. Yes, that's right - he performed ceramic surgery on this lady. He explained that the reasonings behind his augmentation was because he was a "T-n-A kind of man." Nice.

During our first few weeks here, we tried to brainstorm ways to cover her up to make our home more G-rated. But over time, we got used to her and now barely notice her as we pull down the driveway. A few weeks ago, we got home from a trip, and to our great surprise (and dismay) she had been repainted and spruced up! She was a bit more palatable when all the colors were muted, but NOW everything is florescent!! She practically gleams now -- especially with her spotlight that comes on at night. . . sigh. . . .

Let's end on a positive and say, that it's REAL easy for the pizza guy to find us! We always say, "We're the house with the naked mermaid," and people always know where we are. We're getting a giggle out of it, and isn't that a grand thing in life. Any creative ideas on how we should decorate her for Christmas????


5 comments:

Matt said...

classy!

matt b.

Jennifer said...

reindeer antlers and a red nose.

lindley said...

I am laughing out loud! Nice!!

julie said...

from my brother john david:

Boo..such a tease, they're not really real. Haha, that's probably the most ridiculous lawn figurine I've ever seen. You know what you should do? You should make a Christmas sweater for her out of ornamental pieces and every day take a piece off until she's topless again! Just like the calendar! Haha...

Have Mermaid Christmas!

At least give her a halo and show that she's been a good mermaid, ha.

Hauptbahnhof said...

Wow & double wow. Thrown on a scarf or something (or a blanket over the whole thing)